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Gone are the days when all you wanted for Christmas was an official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle. Now that you are old enough to buy one for yourself (you swear you won’t shoot your eye out!), the things topping your holiday wish list are not sold in stores.
Good health, peace, and happiness can’t be purchased at any Long Island retailers that we are aware of. And they can be even more difficult to come by if you and your child’s other parent have divorced or otherwise split up from one another.
But co-parenting doesn’t have to turn you into a Grinch. In our 40+ years in practice, the team at Aiello & DiFalco LLP has noticed there are a few things parents can do to ensure their child’s holiday cheer is not dampened by co-parents who must collaborate with one another during the Christmas season.
Be As Specific As Possible When Creating Your Holiday Schedule
Managing your child’s holiday schedule is hectic no matter what your family situation. There are always so many school and community events, parties, and family and religious celebrations your child won’t want to miss.
Putting together a list of these events, and noting where your child is going to be on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day can help reduce your stress and minimize any conflict between you and your child’s other parent.
Clearly outline:
- Figure out who the child will be with each day of the holiday season.
- Write down who will handle drop-offs and pick-ups, and where they will occur.
- Note any travel plans, including how they will impact the schedule.
- Include contingency plans for bad weather or illness.
Creating a detailed plan minimizes misunderstandings and ensures smooth transitions for your children. Don’t assume that the schedule you followed in previous years will remain the same. As your child grows, they will have different wants and needs during the holidays.
Incorporate New Traditions
A divorce often means change, but that also creates opportunities to develop new traditions. Encourage your children to share their ideas about how to celebrate in each household. For example:
- Baking cookies with one parent.
- Decorating the tree with the other.
- Watching holiday movies with cousins from one side of the family.
- Visiting Santa with other family members.
If your child has his or her heart set on doing something with both parents, consider:
- Grabbing a snack before or after a concert, play, or other activity the child is participating in.
- Doing a drop-off/pick-up at a holiday light display everyone can walk through.
- Find a volunteer opportunity for the child that both parents can help out with.
Creating new memories and traditions shows your child how much you and their other parent love them.
Use Technology for Keep in Touch
If your child is spending Christmas with the other parent, consider scheduling a video call to say hello or watch them open a gift. Technology can help children feel connected to both parents, even when apart.
Keep Extended Family Members in the Loop
Let your extended family members know important details about your child’s holiday schedule. And mention to them the importance of not saying anything to make your child think they are missing out on activities with your side of the family because they are spending time with their other parent and/or other parent’s family. Your child should be able to enjoy time with all their loved ones without feeling like they are being pulled in multiple directions.
Christmas Should Not Be a Competition
Don’t try to outdo the other parent with extravagant gifts or experiences. This can create unnecessary tension and confusion for your children. Instead, communicate about gifts to avoid duplication and ensure that the focus remains on celebrating the spirit of the season.
Dedicated to You & Your Family in Your Time of Need
At Aiello & DiFalco LLP, we believe that Christmas should be a time of joy and harmony for families, even amidst the changes brought by divorce. By fostering collaboration and prioritizing your children’s happiness, you can ensure that the holiday season is a special time for everyone involved.
If you need assistance creating a holiday parenting plan or resolving disputes, we’re here to help. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.